My Happy Ending?
by EmStar202
Summary: "I hoped it was painful for Morrigan and I hoped Alistair was miserable. I didn't want them to enjoy it. I wanted it to be bad, really, really bad." A story of what happened afterward: how Cousland felt, and how Alistair tries to make things right again.


Author's Note: Yes, I am aware that this is extremely unrealistic, but I don't really care. I was royally ticked off that my fake boyfriend had to have sex with another fake girl who wasn't my fake pc! I mean, I don't think I even had another choice. Stupid game. Whatever, so I wrote this to console myself. So yes, I firmly will pretend to believe that Alistair was so disgusted with the idea that the only way he could get hard was to picture me, because my human noble is so irresistible Alistair cannot love any other woman. Selfish? Yes, but come on, I bet some of you fan girls did the same thing! I hated how everyone was just so okay with it. Like, when Alistair asks you if you're sure it's what you want, there aren't any choices that said something like, "No, of course not, but it's the only way." You know? That option would have been nice. And Alistair seemed to agree pretty quickly if you asked me. Jeez. What happened to my fairy tale romance? I also absolutely hated how their sex scene was more graphic than the one between Alistair and the Grey Warden. I mean, come on!I almost couldn't watch it! So I wrote this, my version of how everyone felt. And as for my character's reaction… well you can say she's a bitch but at least you can't say she's out of character because I'm the one who played her! Read and review please! Anyway, I'll shut up now so you can read it. :)

**My Happy Ending**

I paced my room, teeth clenched and my hands fisted. The place was a mess, for I had taken out all my aggression on the furniture. The covers were thrown off the bed, the pillows in tatters, and I'd dented the bedside table with my sword. Arl Eamon would not be pleased. I'd practically destroyed one of his best guest rooms, but I couldn't help it. When I got pissed, I became violent and when I became violent, I took my anger out on the nearest monster in sight, and since there were no monsters available, I had to do with what I could.

I'd told myself to calm down; I'd tried to reassure myself that Alistair didn't want this either, and it was worth it because then we could live all happily ever after like in the fairy tale books my mother used to read me, but I wasn't buying it. What if this night with Morrigan changed him? What if she was a better lay than I was? What if he didn't love me anymore?

Tears burned behind my eyes, but I hastily brushed them away with a gloved hand. This was ridiculous. I was a warrior, for god's sake; I didn't cry! Especially not over a guy! Especially not over Alistair, who I knew loved me and I knew wasn't enjoying himself because I didn't hear a single peep from the room across the hall.

I hoped it was painful for Morrigan and I hoped Alistair was miserable. I didn't want them to enjoy it. I wanted it to be bad, really, really bad sex, so Alistair would come back to me and I could make him forget all about her with my own sexual prowess.

But Morrigan was a witch and her mother was Flemeth, who'd seduced many men before, Morrigan had told me, so what if Morrigan turned my sweet, innocent, Alistair and made him some kind of sex crazed whore? What if she knew some sick love spell and was performing it right now? What ifRiordan really could be the one to make the sacrifice and Morrigan only told me of this ritual so she could get in my boyfriend's pants?

No, no, no, that was foolish of me. They hated each other. They _hated_ each other. I just had to keep telling myself that.

Maybe I should just go to sleep, forget about all this. I had to be ready for the battle tomorrow. I couldn't allow this to distract me. I was just crawling into bed with my pajamas on when the door creaked open and Alistair entered.

I jolted up and nearly hit my head on the headboard. My eyes darted over to him and I scanned him up and down, as if I could see what had went on just by looking at him. I forced my gaze to his and found his expression quite peculiar. He certainly didn't look happy, but he didn't look sad or angry either. Instead, he appeared simply horrified.

"So… how was it?" I asked as I rose out of bed and came to stand before him. I feared his response. What if he'd liked it? Perhaps he hadn't been able to help himself.

"I-I don't want to talk about it," he muttered, brushing past me and heading over to the bureau. "It was horrible. Just horrible."

I couldn't see his face, and it was impossible to tell by his tone whether or not he was lying. I strode over to him and placed a hand on his shoulder. "You don't have to lie for my sake, Alistair. I know Morrigan is very beautiful."

He shuddered and whirled around to face me, "Beautiful? You think that…that… bitch is beautiful? If she had any beauty to begin with at all it was lost the moment she opened her mouth." He spoke fiercely, and he actually sounded serious, which was quite out of character for him. His face was white and his expression strained.

"So… you didn't enjoy yourself? Not… not at all?"

The moment I asked it I knew it was a stupid question. He'd had to enjoy it if he'd spilled his seed inside her. How could a man come without enjoying himself? It was hard to keep my gaze on his as he processed my question, because he looked positively mad.

"What? No! Of course not!" Alistair shouted, staring at me with such incredulity as if he were shocked I'd even consider the idea of sex with Morrigan to be pleasurable. "She's all bony and pale and she didn't make a peep and the whole time she stared at me with this freaky look that made me think she was going to kill me and I couldn't even get hard without picturing your face, which was highly embarrassing because now Morrigan thinks I'm incompetent. Ugh, I think I'm going to be sick. I need a bathe. A cold, cold bathe." His said of all this in such a rush it was hard for me to follow.

Alistair didn't wait for me to reply, but strode into the bathroom and a second later I heard the water running.

I stood there, completely bewildered for I couldn't understand how he'd not enjoyed himself. Surely he must be lying._ Or maybe he's not, maybe he really does love you that much,_the hopeful part of my mind then, how could any man deny Morrigan? She was beautiful, and I… wasn't.

I was a warrior, my body was made for war, not pleasure. I had plain hazel eyes, plain brown hair that was constantly messy and untamed. I always walked around in heavy armor that covered my curves and I was everything a desirable woman was not. How could he possibly like me more than Morrigan?

I crawled back into bad, trying to quiet my thoughts. Why was I getting so insecure now? This had never happened before. I usually wasn't the jealous type. I should believe him. Why shouldn't he love me? He did, I knew he did, but despite my knowledge of that, there was a part of me that foolishly believed otherwise.

* * *

I wanted to drown myself in the water. I wanted to duck underneath it and never come out. I felt tainted, used, violated. I was a good person. I didn't go around, screwing whoever I chose. That wasn't me. That ritual was against everything I stood for, but it had all been worth it to save her. To save us.

I just wished there had been some other way.

I hated that I'd had to do that. I hated that I had to have sex with any other woman than my own. She had been my first, and I'd thought she'd be my last.

I scrubbed my body furiously, trying to work off the taint, but it wouldn't seem to come off. Just like the blood that always stained my hands from battle, this taint would never leave. I gritted my teeth to suppress a scream as I tried to blank my mind of it, but the night kept replaying over and over…

_***Flashback***_

"Alistair, please. 'Tis not that bad," Morrigan cooed, her body sloped over mine. She'd wrapped a hand around my limp cock and had begun to pump slowly, trying to get me ready. Ready for her sick, horrible _ritual_ that would supposedly save us all.

I closed my eyes and tried to pretend I was somewhere else. Tried to pretend it was my lady's hand wrapped around me, but I couldn't. Morrigan's hand was cold and clammy, but my love's were warm and calloused from battle. Morrigan smelled of darkness, death, and hate, but my love smelled of blood, light, and love.

Morrigan sighed and released me. "You are so stubborn. I can see you fighting it Alistair, but getting hard for me is not betraying our leader. She wants you to do this, doesn't see? It is only your body's natural reaction, Alistair, do not fight it."

"I don't want this," I said, finally opening my eyes to meet her golden gaze. She was looking at me with impatience, and at my words that impatience only escalated.

"And you think I do? You think I want this? Because I assure you, I do not."

"Then why do it? Why do you care if we live?" I asked, staring up at her with anger in my gaze.

"I have my reasons. Your warden has been kind enough to me. 'Twas she who defeated my mother, gave me her grimoire and treated me with respect throughout our journey, and she loves you, and even though I do not understand why, I wouldn't like to see her hurt, and losing you will cause her great pain."

I narrowed my eyes and replied, "You're lying. You don't care about her at all. Why are you really doing this Morrigan? So you can have your own little demon child to play with like Flemeth had hers?"

Her lips twitched and I imagined I'd hit the nail on the head. "You may speak true, but do not be mistaken; I do care for our leader, but even if I do lie, do you really have another choice? Would you rather die than lay with me? Am I truly that repulsive to you?"

Looking up at her, I supposed she wasn't ugly, but it was what was inside her that made me detest her. And I didn't want to betray my love. Morrigan was not the woman for me. No, I wanted my queen.

As if reading my thoughts, Morrigan continued, "You aren't betraying her, Alistair. She wants you to do this. Without this ritual, one of you will surely perish tomorrow. Do you really want to take that chance?"

I gritted my teeth and realized she was right. I couldn't live without the woman I loved. I would never allow her to sacrifice herself to the archdemon, and I wouldn't want to sacrifice myself either. It would be far better than sacrificing her, but then she'd go on without me in pain. And what if she found another lover? My blood boiled at the very thought.

"Fine. You're right. Let's just get this over with…"

I finally allowed my body to just relax, and as Morrigan closed her hand around me once more, I closed my eyes and tried to picture her instead. My love, with her warm hands and curvy body. Despite myself, I soon became hard enough to enter Morrigan. I hated my body for reacting. I didn't love Morrigan. I almost loathed her, but I couldn't stop the way my body reacted, and if it was the only way to save both Ferelden and our lives, then so be it.

* * *

Even when I finished my bath, I still felt dirty. I dried myself quickly and donned some bedclothes before stepping back out into the bedroom. I found my love laying on the bed, presumably asleep, for I had spent a lot of time in that bathroom.

I stepped over to her and gazed down upon her angelic face. She looked so peaceful in sleep, it was a nice change to see her like this, tranquil and calm rather than high strung and covered in gore. I always worried about her in battle, even though it was silly. She was more than capable of taking care of herself.

With a smile I climbed into bed beside her and lay looking at her for a moment, before gently wrapping an arm around her and pulling her close to me. I wanted her near me; she comforted me with her warmth and softness.

She stirred in my arms, and slowly her eyelids cracked open. "Alistair?" she murmured, her voice soft.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you," I said, with a frown on my face. She needed her rest. We both did if we were going to defeat the archdemon tomorrow.

"It's okay; I wasn't asleep," she replied. Her voice was still soft and she sounded… sad.

I wrapped my other arm around her and held her close, never wanting to let go. She did not rest her head upon my chest or wrap her body around mine like usual, which saddened me.

"Something wrong, my dear?"

This simple question caused her to explode.

"Something wrong? Something wrong? Of course something's wrong Alistair! I just can't stop thinking about Morrigan and you and sex and I know you told me you didn't like it, but-"

"You're still thinking about that? I've already forgotten," I said, cutting her off with a grin, trying to make us both forget. Perhaps saying I'd forgotten would actually help the horrible incident leave my head.

"This isn't a time for your jokes, Alistair," she scolded, squirming out of my arms.

My lips curved down in a deep frown and I pulled her back to my body. She tried to squirm away again, but I held her captive. "I told you I didn't like it. What more do you want to know?"

"I don't know whether I want to know everything or nothing," She said, her squirming gradually ceasing. "I'm just worried that she might have… corrupted you, or something. And I am worried that you liked it. And I'm worried that she was better in bed than I am. And I'm jealous, okay? I know I'm the one who persuaded you to do it so I have no right to be angry but I am, all right? I'm sorry."

I scoffed at her words and squeezed her shoulder, "A better lay than you? Wasn't it I who yelled like a… what was it you called me? An ogre the first time we made love. And isn't everyone always complaining about how often and how loud we are whenever we go at it in camp? Haven't you made me come a hundred times and left me aching for more? How could you possibly doubt your capabilities, my dear?"

She finally raised her hazel gaze to mine and looked at me with a weak smile. "I guess I'm being silly. I was just worried, that's all… that you might… that you might not want to just settle for me any longer…"

I couldn't believe her words. How could she possibly think I didn't want her? How could she possibly think I didn't love her? She meant everything to me! She meant more than Ferelden, I realized. I know I used to wonder what I would do if I had to choose, but I knew the answer now. Given any other option and her, I'd always choose her, no matter the cost. It was selfish, but it was true. I couldn't bear to be without her. "Is this really you?" I asked her in disbelief, "What happened to my self-confident, bossy girlfriend, no, _queen _soon, that I love so much? What happened to our fearless leader who isn't afraid of anything and is so confident in her abilities she'd face any demon, any darkspawn, unarmed?"

She smiled bigger now and some of the doubt seemed to fade from her eyes. "You're right. I'm sorry. I just… never felt this strongly about anyone before, and I'm constantly afraid I'm going to lose you. Whether it be to Morrigan or the blight…"

"I'm not going anywhere," I assured her, deadly serious, for once. "I love you. You know that, right? I'll never leave you. I knew before I said the blight might come between us but… I don't think I could ever let you go. Not… ever."

"I love you so much," she whispered, as she wrapped her arms around me and draped a leg over mine. Just from this simple action I felt heat spear me, and I wanted her, so much more than I'd ever want anything.

I grinned and kissed her lips tenderly. She tasted so sweet, a great contrast to her rather blunt personality and harshness in battle. Always eager, just as I was, she parted her lips and I gladly deepened the kiss, letting her taste all of me. She moaned softly and I held her tighter, beginning to get aroused again.

I reached over and palmed one of her full breasts through the thin fabric of her nightgown, which caused her to moan louder and she squirmed against me, not to get out of my grasp this time, but to get closer.

"Do you still doubt my love for you?" I asked, as I ran my thumb over her hardening nipple.

"No."

"Well, if you do, I can prove my love, if you like," I said with a smirk.

"Perhaps… perhaps I am still a little doubtful," she replied, smiling. I knew she wasn't, but she knew how to play my games, and giving me an excuse to worship her body was more than welcome for the both of us.

With a grin, I rolled over on to her and kissed her with a passion that would never burn out. She wrapped her arms around my back and then wound her legs around me as well, so her heat was pressed against my own. I groaned as a wave of pleasure hit and I rubbed myself against her, leaving us both breathless and needy for more.

I raised a hand up her nightgown and caressed her thigh, reveling in the moans that came from her lips when I did so. My hand traveled further upward so I soon had the nightgown bunched up at her neck, giving me better access to her delectable body.

I broke our kiss to gaze down upon her, my eyes trailing over her every curve. She was completely naked for me, not wearing any panties. I remembered the first time I saw her naked like this, in my ignorance of women I'd nearly drooled on her, unable to control my longing. She was just so beautiful.

Her breasts were tipped with little pink nipples that seemed to harden even more under my gaze. Her breasts were full; they overflowed my hands. Her hips flared out and her legs were strong, and I liked that. I liked that she wasn't a little twig and was stable. I liked that she was strong and supple and could handle herself in battle. She had the body of a warrior; she had a body made for me.

I could wait no longer; I leaned down and took a hard bud into my mouth. I sucked and licked the tip, leaving her writhing underneath me. I palmed her other breast in my hand as I worked, and then switched, doing the same to the other.

It was around this time that I'd usually begin to finger her, getting her wet and ready for my cock, but tonight was different. Tonight I wanted to try something different.

My mouth left her breast and trailed down her stomach, leaving a line of kisses. Soon I reached the apex of her thighs, but I didn't stop. Her knees were up so I carefully parted them, leaving her completely open to me. A triangle of dark hair covered her and moisture clung to the inside of her thighs. She was already so ready for me.

"Alistair, what are you-oh!" she cried, breathless, as I lowered my head and swept my tongue against her. She gasped and clutched my head wildly. Her legs shot open, desperate for more, which I readily give.

I'd never done this to her before, but now that I did I never wanted to stop. She was sweeter than anything I'd ever tasted, more so than any of the Ferelden's finest wines. She was hot and wet and I greedily lapped at her juices. I swept my tongue inside her and she cried out my name loudly, lost to her pleasure.

Maker, I loved it when she moaned my name.

I had no experience with this, but instinct easily took over and soon her hips were writhing, her back arching, ready for release. I went in deeper, taking all she was willing to give.

"Alistair!" She all but howled, her hips stilling for a moment when her orgasm hit. As the fires of pleasure consumed her, she seemed lost to everything, her body no longer hers to control. She held my head tightly and her hips writhed. She shouted my name again and again and I nearly came myself. When she finally came back to earth I raised my head and kissed her, her essence still lingering on my lips.

She wrapped her arms around me and kissed me back. "Alistair, you… you didn't have to do that."

"I wanted to," I whispered huskily, kissing her jaw.

"Oh, well, in that case, feel free to do it again then," she replied, her voice still breathless and throaty.

I grinned, the very thought making my cock twitch against her thigh, but I had to decline her offer, "I would, for you taste sweeter than anything I've ever experienced, but I fear that if I don't enter you soon I'm going to come all over your leg and the bed sheets, and then we'll have to explain the mess to Arl Eamon, which I imagine would be _quite_ an uncomfortable conversation."

She laughed, the sound like music to my ears. I loved it when she laughed. She was usually so serious, but I could always make her forget, for a little while, and just enjoy. "Fuck me then, please," she whispered huskily, breathing into my ear.

This was a request I was more than willing to oblige. I thrust into her, all the way to the hilt. She was tight and wet and hot. She was Heaven, every single time. She cried out when I entered her, but it was not a pained cry. No, it was a needy one. She bucked her hips up to meet mine and moved in time with my thrusts, leaving us both spiraling deeper and deeper into oblivion.

When she came, she came hard. Her inner walls gripped me tight, her head thrashed on the pillow and her nails dug into my back so hard I felt blood trickle down. She was violent in battle and in bed, and I _liked_ it. I came shortly after my love, reached the top and fell, so hard.

I roared her name and collapsed beside her, holding her close. We lay like that for a while, our breathing still heavy, basking in the afterglow before we each slowly came down from our high. Every time we made love it was just as good, if not better than the last time; I didn't think the novelty of it would ever wear off, not with her.

She snuggled closer to me and I draped my arms around her, cradling her in my embrace. Tomorrow we would fight. Tomorrow we would lead our forces into battle and face the archdemon. And tomorrow, we would slay it. I had no doubt about it. We were warriors; we were strong. After everything we'd been through, there was no way I was going to let her get away from me, not for a second.

I loved this woman, and she was mine. Forever.


End file.
